Providing hope for the elderly, ensuring no one is forgotten

Growing up in Communist Romania

Maria, 81, was born into poverty and grew up in Communist Romania, where food shortages were widespread and many experienced a sharp decline in living standards.

When dictator Nicolae Ceausescu borrowed vast sums of money to build the enormous People’s Palace, extreme austerity measures were imposed on the Romanian people to pay off the debt. The official rations of bread, eggs, meat, butter, oil, flour and more were not only grossly insufficient for a human being to survive on, but also mostly missing from stores all over the country. As a result, people had to stand in queues for days to purchase food. Tension was high and sometimes fights would break out as people waited in line.

Heating, hot water and electricity were also interrupted every day for the sake of power saving, resulting in significant hardship, particularly during the winter months.

Child Marriage Under Communism

“My mother had remarried to a man that didn’t want me and she didn’t know how else to get rid of me. She eventually chose to give me up for adoption to one of her cousins.”

Then – when Maria was only 14 years old – she got married and had her first child at 15.

Under Communism, contraceptives were banned and large families were strongly promoted. Parents living in desperate poverty, struggling to feed their families, were encouraged to relinquish their children to state-run institutions. Over 300,000 children were living in orphanages when the regime fell.

Maria said, “Even if I was about to die with my children at my feet, I could never contemplate the idea of giving them up. Protecting them and caring for them is ingrained in me, and my commitment to them is always greater than any hardship I could go through. To this day, I still cry and pray for them when they’re unwell, or if for any reason there’s a problem in our relationship.”

“I had nine children,” Maria continued. “One of my daughters died shortly after she was born. I can’t tell you why. I’m not able to tell you why my little girl died. Under Communism, they wouldn’t give me any information, other than she was sick. I was very young, actually 15, when I had her and didn’t dare to ask for more information.”

In another tragedy, one of Maria’s sons died six years ago of colon cancer. “He was very close to me. He always looked out for me and asked how I was. I was so sad when he died. His life was full of sorrows. His wife and one of his two children had also passed away.”

Maria’s life was all about endurance and survival. “I got married when I was 14 years old and all I knew was work, work and more work…” she said.

“I used to work wherever I could find work and I was often paid with food or other things for my children. I was happy with this as it was so hard to get hold of anything during Communism.

“Occasionally, a lady doctor living in our village would help as well. She was kind to me and gave me food in exchange for me helping her with cleaning tasks.

“When I didn’t have work to go to, I used to weave baskets from reeds or collect berries and herbs from the forest to sell. Later, I got hired to be the cleaning lady for the village school. I did that for about 20 years.”

Unfortunately, Maria was never officially registered as an employee – and despite decades of hard work, she has no pension as a result. She does receive 70 Euros a month in disability allowance after a serious fall from a horse wagon damaged her back years ago.

“Maybe it’s because I never got along well with the school director,” Maria said. “She wanted me to care for her cows and sheep without being paid and I often refused, because I had small children at home that needed my care. She has always threatened me that things wouldn’t be easy for me because I had the courage to say no to her personal demands. Under Communism, people in higher positions often held disdain for common or uneducated people and freely exercised their power, displaying arrogance and taking advantage of their authority.”

The whole family used to live in a one-roomed house and later, they were allowed to move to another part of the village where they had more land and were able to build their own home.

“Of course, we never had the money or time or means for fun activities. We also had my mother-in-law to care for; she had epilepsy.”

Daniel, a MWB Coordinator ahving a chat with Maria's husband.

Survival on a low income and discovering faith

Now, Maria lives in poverty with her husband and an adult son in a small house that has no running water, and no toilet, bathroom, fridge or kitchen.

Living on a limited income means simple meals for Maria and her family at home.

Maria’s son is in his 50s and has a chronic illness. He has to use an oxygen mask a few times a day for his breathing issues.

All of Maria’s children live close by, some in the same village, others in the villages around. Her grandchildren are too many to count, she says.

“I probably have about 40 grandchildren, but who knows…” she said, trying to think.

One of Maria’s daughters lives close by with her family and she cooks regularly for her parents.

Maria said, “I don’t need much. I only ask God for health and for the wisdom to understand and live out the Word.”

She and her husband’s only possessions consist of two beds, a table, a small TV and a stove. Despite suffering from diabetes and pain in her legs, Maria never complaints.

Maria said, “I thank God I can still walk, although I’m very slow. I only want to live as long as I can walk. I don’t want to be bedridden and make life hard for someone having to care for me. I’m afraid to die, but I hope God will have mercy on me and He will take me while sleeping so I don’t have to live in pain.”

Maria’s relationship with her husband has long been very difficult. Unresolved conflicts and a strained dynamic between them has cast a shadow over Maria’s mental health for many years now.

“My marriage life reads like a novel, a very intense one,” Maria said. “I have learned the hard way that sometimes I need to keep my mouth shut and not say anything that could fuel my husband’s anger or start more conflicts. He is now old and sick, sullen and

sometimes verbally aggressive. I try to avoid upsetting him, but it appears that everything I do tends to annoy him.”

Maria finds comfort in God’s word and particularly loves reading the Psalms and Proverbs.

“I became a Christian about 20 years ago. We didn’t have a church in our village during Communism.

Maria finds comfort reading the Bible, especially Proverbs.

“One of my grandsons was very sick with a slim chance of ever recovering. There was nothing we could do, and I turned to prayer. I asked God to heal him and to everyone’s surprise, He did. It was then that I decided this is the God I want to follow. I have been a Christian ever since.

“Winters are the hardest. I am afraid that I’ll slip and fall on the ice and not be able to attend church again.”

Support from Mission Without Borders

Because she and her husband struggle to survive on such a meagre income, Maria receives regular support from Mission Without Borders. Staff member Daniel visits Maria regularly, bringing parcels of food and hygiene items and other donated goods, and providing emotional and spiritual support.

Daniel said, “I value the wisdom of the elderly so much. I enjoy listening to their life stories. They offer invaluable lessons of resilience, love and perseverance. Although many of the elderly people we work with aren’t formally educated, they have learned an incredible amount through their life experiences and there is so much they can teach us.”

“The cooking oil I receive through the food parcels means so much to me. It makes me really happy that I can share it with my daughter, who graciously prepares the meals for me and my husband. In this way, I feel I am able to contribute something towards my own sustenance.

“May you be blessed with health, longevity and enduring happiness and may your children be blessed now and for the generations to come.”

Many elderly people in Romania live in remote rural areas that are entrenched in poverty, struggling to survive on a small income that is barely sufficient for their everyday life. Most of the challenges spring from their past employment in collective farms during the Communist period, resulting in meagre pensions.

Those with surviving spouses, like Maria, are only slightly better off with dual pensions – yet widows and widowers frequently struggle to make ends meet. The dire circumstances are evident as many succumb to harsh realities, including freezing to death due to an inability to afford heating. As well as financial hardship, many elderly people face solitude and isolation.

Mission Without Borders gives regular support to elderly people living in poverty in Eastern Europe. Most of them – like Maria – have endured great hardship, loss, and trauma, and have very little to live on.
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